Today we found out (finally!) that our little baby in utero is a girl. It came as quite a shock, since we both had the "boy feeling". I am filled with joy, though, as her birthdate ("meeting day") between daddy and daughter draws near. It does remind me, though, of how I *should* already be a father, but lost the baby through miscarriage. I wrote this about Hyam, the name of our unborn son, October 2004 when he should have been born:
A Son of Adam
Some nights I go through the house turning on all the lights
Just so that they will be there for me
A reminder of that primordial inbreaking
When a light that couldn’t be overwhelmed was sparked.
A life that could not be put away by the schemes and machinations of men;
A life taken down by man but raised by God again.
The lights dim to just a vigil candle
A votive lit in memory of one short life;
So gentle and peaceful
Even though winds blew strong
A guiding hand blocked it during a slow gait
And I wonder when God will give us life again.
With one small light darkness easily prevails
And snuff out a flickering flame;
Leaving only the smell of smoke and sulfur;
Bitterness and wormwood mixed to drink together.
Then the light goes out—
There is no consolation in the dark because no one can see you cry.